About Me

Fort Bragg, NC, United States
I'm a stay at home dad raising four beautiful children. I am the proud spouse of an Army Lieutenant Colonel. I do my best to keep up with the kids and all of their activities. I enjoy playing the bass and the occasional bass guitar building project. You can follow me on twitter if you so desire...@ArmySpouse007.

Monday, March 7, 2011

The Uncertain Life

If there's one thing that's for sure in this life we lead as an Army family, it's that almost nothing is for sure. My wife is going to deploy in May. No, she's not. She's leaving in April. No, wait... it won't be until August. Actually, it could be late July... No, it'll be somewhere between July and August. ENOUGH ALREADY!!! I'm sure you've been there, too. The military lifestyle is one of uncertainty. There never seems to be any certainty as to where she's going, where we're going, much less when those "goings" might be. Now, I don't know about you, but for someone like me who craves order and stability in my own crazy life, this sort of thing tends to drive me crazy. The truth is, I don't mind moving. I really don't. And, while I DO mind deployments, I've learned to live with the separations and cope. What I struggle with is not knowing when or where those deployments will be.

Take our current situation, for instance. We have a "general" idea that my wife will be deploying again some time late summer. We know where she'll be going. But there are no specifics so far. We're not even sure how long she'll be gone. Further, while we know that we'll be here at Fort Bragg until at least next winter, we have no idea after that. Then there's the Command Selection list that comes out next month. That's the list that tells perspective battalion commanders if they've been selected for a command. We don't know if she's on that list. If she is, there are many different commands she could be selected for. Many, if not most of them, will throw off what we "know" about the coming months. In fact, it is entirely possible (though not that likely) that she will be selected for a command that starts this Fall, meaning the deployment will change and we'll be moving... again.

Speaking of moving... think back how many times you've moved in the last 5 years. For those of you who aren't military and read this blog, your answer is probably 1 time or less. For my military spouse readers, you've probably got a move or two under your belt. Us? We moved in 2005, 2006, 2008, 2009, and 2010. FIVE moves since 2005. If my wife get's selected for one of 3 or 4 commands that start this year, that would make SIX moves since 05. Stability, you say? Never heard of it. Let's take this a step further, shall we? We also made moves in 2004, 2001, and 2000. Yep, you guessed it. That's 8 moves 10 and a half years. In our life, uncertainty rules.

Those of us who have lived as military spouses for any length of time have learned to roll with the punches. We understand that ours is not a normal life. We adjust and adapt to the changes that always seem to be right around the corner. And while all of the moving is tough at times, there are some benefits to it. I'm sure you've noticed them in your life as well, but I'll list a couple of them.

1. New Friends. Everywhere we've been we've gotten to know amazing people. Some of them we've grown very close to. I once heard a friend tell me that with each military move his Christmas card list gets longer. There's a lot of truth to that. By its very nature, the military lifestyle forces you to create new friendships and bonds. And what we've found is that with networking sites like Facebook, you never really have to say goodbye.

2. Wanderlust. I've spoken with many military spouses who feel this urge to pack up and get moving after a couple of years. It's really strange. We move to a place that we like, settle in and make new friends, then a couple years later we're ready to move. I can't explain it. Perhaps it's just the coping mechanism getting into gear, preparing me for another move by making me actually want to move. Weird, I know. In the process, though, we travel all over the country and live in places we NEVER would have had we not been a part of the military.

The truth is, while our lives are a bit on the uncertain side, we learn to deal with it, and then we learn how to thrive in it. For me, I simply don't allow myself to dwell on what's ahead. I just want to do the best I can where I am at RIGHT NOW. That means being a loving and supporting husband to my soldier wife. It means being a nurturing and dedicated father to my kids. And it means being comfortable with who I am and where I am. We don't know where we'll be a year from now. That's ok. I know where I am right now, and I know what I need to do right now. A great passage from the book of Matthew simply states this: "don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." So I've taken that to heart. I concern myself about this week's stuff. What am I making for dinner each night this week? What groceries do I need to buy? How much homework do the kids have and do they need my help? Next year? Don't know. Don't care. I'm here, now. I'll focus on now.

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You can follow me on Twitter if you so choose... @Armyspouse007


  1. Isn't this the truth! I always feel weird as the incurable optimist in the middle of this crazy lifestyle! I definitely have wanderlust and love the adventure of where we're going next, the fun things to do in the area and of course, meeting more amazing friends!

  2. Can VERY definitely relate to the wanderlust...and the uncertainty. We moved in 1998, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2007, and 2010. We bought a house this time. Does that mean another move is inevitably close?

  3. This just spoke EVERYTHING I'm thinking right now. Also I joke every December as I'm getting my address book re-updated because half my military friends have a different address than last year that one day, maybe, in the far future, I can write an address in my book IN PEN.

  4. Great Post! I can relate to the uncertainty; it drives me absolutely crazy. And I have that wanderlust, also. I love moving to new places for a change of pace, the chance to meet new people, and to explore the new area.